This week, God did something amazing...
I haven't spoken to one of my grandfathers in about 12 years. He left his family while my grandma was pregnant with his last child.
Throughout my life, every time my mum talked about him, I hated him. I was so apathetic about his health and everything else. As a kid, I always wanted him to be there, to call me, to spoil me or just care about me. But he didn't.
He got sick a few years ago and had to have a surgery that didn't go well and he ended up even more sick. He can't work, which makes him feel useless and destroyed.
A few days ago, my mum called me after she had talked to him. As she talked, I thought "here we go again, more drama about this human that I don't know. Of course, he had to get so sick and close to death to realize that he had a family." I realized that I had so much pain and pride, but I wasn't willing to let it go.
The next day, I was praying and I felt God telling me to call my grandpa. I was in shock. I didn't want to, but I did want to obey God. I resisted and throughout the day, God kept pushing me to do it. By the evening, I found myself writing to his partner telling her that I wanted to talk to him and suddenly, he called me.
I was shaking. We talked for a little while and he kept repeating, "this call is the best thing that has happened to me in years. I pray for you every night." He apologized for not being present and told me that he's here for me now and gave me permission to call anytime.
I needed to put my pride down, to put God in the middle of my life and realize that even though I was hurt, I was wrong. My grandpa made many mistakes but he did the best with what he had. So I prayed and I forgave him... and I feel God softening my heart.
I feel that this is the beginning of a breakthrough of forgiveness for generations in my family.
Comments